


Blue stars

by x_blackbird_x



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Pining Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15392274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_blackbird_x/pseuds/x_blackbird_x
Summary: Ever since Lance was a kid, he has been trying to prove himself. He has tried hard to reach the highest social status. Started playing football, got a girlfriend, and made as many friends as possible. But no matter how hard he tries, he doesn't feel happy. To make things worse, the new kid is making him start to question his sexuality.





	1. First impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone :)
> 
> This is my first fan fiction, and I’m TERRIFIED to post. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to post anymore because I can’t handle my cringy writing. I was just bored and decided to do something useful with my time. Also, minor trigger warning. I used some hurtful words. Last but not least; I have no idea what I’m doing.
> 
> Enjoy ;)

Lance awoke to the loud blaring of his relentless alarm clock. He looked at the time and groaned. He was going to be late. Again. He didn't think he would be able to come up with a valid excuse this time.This is going to be a long day, he thought as he sat up in his tiny twin bed. He could hear the loud chatter of his siblings echoing from downstairs while they ate breakfast. That was something he wasn't gong to have time to do. He already wanted to curl up and go back to sleep.

He ran out the door looking like absolute shit. His hair was disheveled and stuck up in random places around his head, he looked like he had gotten dressed in the dark, and his eyes had large bags under them from lack of sleep. At this point, he didn't care.

By some absolute miracle, he managed to make it on time. He bursts through the doors of his first period English class and bolts to his seat just as the bell rings.

~~~

Keith was so nervous he could barely breathe. Being a foster kid, he had switched schools before, but this time was different. He wanted things to work out.

The moment he walked through the doors, he realized just how out of place he was. His hands were trembling with fear. He could already pick out all of the different cliques. The jocks, nerds, cheerleaders, and so on. He didn't fit in anywhere. It didn't matter, because he wasn't planning on making any friends anyway. He hoped he was as invisible as he felt.

The morning passed agonizingly slow. All of his classes were dreadfully boring. The teachers just droned on and on and nothing interesting was ever going to happen if things went on at this pace.

Keith arrived at his last class expecting nothing to happen, but was soon proved wrong. The only bad thing was that his newly born plan of becoming invisible wasn't going to workout.

"Class, we have a new student with us today," Mrs. Smith practically sang, "I hope you will all give a warm welcome to Keith."

Great. This was exactly what he needed.

~~~

Lances day had passed exactly like usual. He attended all of his dull classes, flirted with as many girls as possible, and joked around about as much as he could. It was when he walked into Mrs. Smiths classroom to finish off the day that he realized that something interesting was going to happen after all.

Lance knew just about everyone in the entire school, and there wasn't a person who didn't know him. That was why it surprised him to see a face that he didn't recognize. He was tall, and you could see the bulge of his muscles through his shirt. There was a pink scar running down his pale cheek, and Lance wondered where it came from. But the thing that stood out to him the most about the new kid were his eyes. They were some of the most gorgeous eyes he had ever seen. Flecks of... was that purple? Was that even possible? Lance had to force himself to look away before it got weird. What was he thinking? Mrs. Smith introduced him as Keith. Then one of his friends, Chad, snapped him out of his trance. 

"That guy looks like such a fag," He countered, not even looking up from his phone. Lance winced at the casual use of the word. He actually thought Keith looked like a pretty cool guy. He rarely thought what Chad had to say was valid, but always verbally agreed with the idiot. Chad was popular, and disagreeing with him could be fatal to your reputation.

"Y-yeah," Lance stammered, "Totally." He cringed as he said it, staring down at his shoes in shame. Hunk, who sat behind him, gave him a dirty look. Hunk knew Lance was a good person, but he also knew that he gave in easily to peer pressure due to his multiple insecurities. But Hunk was still going to scold him after this.

~~~

Keith awkwardly slid into the first seat he could find. Out of curiosity, he looked over to see who was sitting in the seat next to him. She was short with large round spectacles sitting on her nose. She had an uninterested look on her face.

"What are you looking at?" She asked with a slight turn of her head. Keith just stared. She must have realized just how mortified he looked, because she took sympathy and held out her hand.

"The names Pidge," she said with a smile. Keith took her hand and shook it. He then continued to it in silence. He didn't know how to reply, and wasn't about to make a fool out of himself. Pidge must have been waiting for him to say something because she was looking at him expectantly.

"It's nice to meet you, I guess. I'm Keith... but you already knew that. I don't really have many friends so the fact that your talking to me is kind of surprising. I'm pretty invisible." Pidge giggled at this, because she knew he hadn't meant to say all of those things aloud.

"It's ok. I don't really talk to anyone either. Maybe we can join forces."

~~~

Lance couldn't stop looking at Keith. He didn't know what it was, but something about him was enchanting. His body was absolutely... perfect. Lance had to pinch himself to get him to stop this train of thought. He was most definitely completely out of it today. The class was nearly over. He wouldn't have to think about Keith or his stupidly beautiful eyes for much longer. He began to doodle just to distract himself from his invasive thoughts.

When the bell finally, finally rang, Lance bolted to the door. He needed to get out of here as fast as he could. Football practice would probably help clear his mind. But of course, things never happened the he wanted them to.

"Hey new kid," he heard Chad call from across the room, "Is that a mullet I see? What are you, from 1980? Let me fix it for you." Chad pulled out a pair of scissors and made his way to Keith. Before Keith had any idea what was happening, Chad had pinned him down and was bringing the scissors to his raven black mullet. Keith kicked at him as hard as he could, but was unsuccessful under Chad, who was insanely strong. A crowd began to gather. Lance could feel his heartbeat hammering in his chest as he watched in horror. Keith didn't deserve this in the slightest.

"Why don't you come over and help, Lancey boy?" Chad questioned, ignoring the pained look on the boys face. Lance wasn't about to let this happen. 

"No." He said flatly.

"Well, what do we have here? If you're going to be that way you might as well join him down here. Or maybe... that's what you want. I saw you staring at him with googly eyes the entire class period. Does someone have a little gay crush?" Lance stiffened. What was this guys problem? Lance had to force the tears that were threatening to fall to disappear, and swallowed the lump in his throat. He hated himself for everything he was about to do.

Without a word, Lance grabbed the scissors and brought them to the small tuft of hair that was Keith's mullet. With two small snips, it was gone. The ravenetts thick locks fell to the floor. The crowd dispersed, until Lance was the only one in the room. There were so many things that he hated himself for, and this would forever remain one of them.

~~~

Keith cried. He cried until his entire body shook with the effort of it. He cried so hard that the sound of his heartbroken sobs echoed off the bathroom walls and into the hallway. He stayed there and just cried for what seemed like hours, but no one had entered. At last, his tears came to a stop, and he just sat on the floor in the earsplitting silence. When the silence was broken, it was by the small footsteps of a girl.

"Hey," Pidge mumbled. There was an awkward silence, and then Pidge was hugging him. It was strange. He wasn't used to getting hugged or comforted. He just didn't like it. Oddly enough, this felt good.

"Those douchebags don't know anything. Don't listen to a word they say." That's all she said, because that's all that needed to be said. They stayed that way for awhile, until Pidge left without another word. 

Keith walked through the deserted hallways of the Garrison feeling empty. He couldn't think properly after the events of the day. Nothing seemed right anymore. Not just simply "not right" but so terribly utterly wrong. He didn't know when his life would ever make sense. Without warning, his thoughts were interrupted by the soft sound of music coming from down the hall. It was probably a bad idea to follow the sound, but his curiosity got the better of him.

The door to the dance studio was closed, so he look through the tiny checkered window. He stopped and stared. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. There, behind the glass, was none other than Lance. He moved with ease. Every single one was 100% on beat. Not a single move was out of place or uncertain. This made Keith wonder... 

What else was Lance hiding?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe you made it this far! I hope that was decent. 
> 
> Let me know if you would like to read a part two <3


	2. Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wants to make it up to Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for so long! It's been a stressful few months, and I haven't really gotten around to writing. I decided to continue it because of the positive response I got from chapter one. It is a lot more angsty... Anyways, tell me if you enjoy part two <3

Lance couldn't take it. The guilt of what he had done was wearing him down, and he didn't know how to fix it. After football practice (which he didn't particularly like), he started dancing. Most days it was the only thing that kept him from losing his mind. The world had a habit of turning against him, and when everything felt like it was falling apart he spent the rest of the day losing himself in the feel of the music. It was the only thing that pulled him back from the brink of insanity. Because the truth is, high school is hard. Everyone needed a way to get away from that fact.

He came home so late that his entire family was already asleep by the time he walked into his room. (The janitor was a nice guy, and let Lance stay at school dancing for as long as he wanted.) He ended up staying up doing his homework for way too long. Even after he finished it the events of the day wouldn't let him sleep. He closed his eyes and saw Keith's purple flecked one's staring back. His muscular pale arms and torso were defined and oddly enticing. He wanted to know what they felt like. He wanted to know if his lips were as soft as they looked. He bolted up in bed.  _What the hell was he thinking?_  He needed to go to bed and forget that he ever had a single thought about Keith. Who was a  _guy._

The thing is, Lance still yearned for a way to make it up to Keith. He didn't want him to feel out of place or alone. But he had ruined any chance of that. He inwardly groaned. He knew that he wasn't going to fall asleep until he figured this out, so he might as well figure this out right now. A million different terrible ideas hit him at once, but none of them were quite right. The clock read 1:00 am. The non-stop ticking was giving him a serious headache and he tried to drown out the aggravatingly loud noise. Why did this have to be so hard...

Then the perfect idea hit him like a load of bricks.

~~~

Keith avoided Shiro at all costs. His new foster brother was awfully clingy and it was getting far past annoying. He appreciated his concerns but it was not something that he needed in his life right now. He wasn't about to tell someone he barely knew his life struggles. He had trouble trusting people around him because of his daunting past. That's what made it hard for him to open up to his friends. He didn't want to be let down again. He hated the way he was more than he liked to admit, and he always shut down whenever he was asked about how he felt. The more he changed foster homes, the more closed off he became. Being quiet and broody was just what Keith had grown used to. No one else ever payed much attention to him anyways so it didn't matter. He didn't even feel sad about it anymore, he was just numb. Sometimes he couldn't feel anything, and it was like he was a black hole. Not one that sucked everything up, but exactly the opposite. Everything was sucking the life out of him and he could do nothing to stop it. He would do almost anything to get himself to feel anything. He didn't care if it was anger, sadness, or fear that brought his senses back to life. He just wanted to feel  _something._ He was thankful for what Lance had done to him. Crying was better than nothing, it made him less empty. He doubted that anyone would truly care about such a broken person. He would probably never fall in love or have a family that loved him. He excepted that fact a long time ago. 

He couldn't fall asleep, and he knew it was hopeless. He had insomnia, and tonight was especially bad. He made it through most nights by listening to music. Music was the only salvation to the voices inside his head. But nothing had succeeded in drowning out the nothingness inside of him today. He was enveloped in it and it was refusing to let him take a breath of air. He was being strangled by his own thoughts. It grew too much for him to bear. He sprung out of bed and went over to the small window in the corner of his tiny bedroom. It opened with ease, and the cold night air rushed in. He loved the cold and he wanted it to consume him entirely. He climbed out of the window and swung himself onto the roof of the house. It was surprisingly high up.

This was exactly what Keith needed. He loved the adrenaline that began to pup through his veins. He wanted it even more than he realized.  _I want to jump,_ something in the back of his head said. It wouldn't be enough to kill him, but it would definitely hurt him. He quieted the part of him that screamed at him to take that last step and crawled back through his small window. Not today.

 

 

Waking up was the absolute worst thing ever. Keith  _hated_ it. Nothing was worse than forcing yourself to get out of the warmth of your blankets to face the ruthless unforgiving world. On top of that, he had to haul himself to school. School was not his favorite place to be, at all.

Keith sauntered over to Shiros car. Shiro looked turned his head over to Keith and frowned at the sight of him. 

"Is everything okay? You look really tired. If something is wrong, you can tell me. You don't have to be scared or embarrassed to open up," Shiro voiced with concern.

"M'fine," Keith grumbled. It was a lie he was very used to telling. He was never fine, and doubted he would be in a long, long time.

 

 

When Keith opened his locker, a small piece of paper fluttered to the ground in front of him. The note was written in blue ink with neat cursive handwriting.

**Hi.**

**God, I don't know how to start this. I saw what happened to you yesterday. I don't think that it's okay for anyone to be treated like that. It's not okay and I want you to know that I feel awful for not stopping it from happening. I was just so _scared._ My fear makes me useless and I'm sorry. Lance is probably just confused about who he is, so don't take it personally. You deserve better.**

**Blue**

Keith just stared at the paper for a good five minutes and then tossed it in the trash. It's not like whoever wrote it actually meant any of what they wrote. It all sounded like bullshit to him. They were pitying him and he hated it because he didn't care. He wasn't the Keith that he used to be, he was only the shell that was left of him. He wasn't the Keith that his mother abandoned. He wasn't the Keith that lost a father. He was... hollow.

~~~

Lance watched Keith toss his note in the garbage, and his heart sank. His feeble attempt of comforting Keith didn't look like it worked. But he wasn't going to give up, not a chance. He was stubborn and hard to discourage.

~~~

Whoever was leaving these notes was apparently some kind of stalker, because Keith was finding notes everywhere. They were at his desk, in his binder (he had no idea how), and in practically every other spot he could think of. He continued to throw them away, and they continued to come. ~~He was touched that this person was putting so much effort into getting him to care.~~ He wanted it to end. The only way to do that was to respond to the ridiculous onslaught of notes from this "Blue" character. 

_Stop. Your notes are getting increasingly annoying and I don't know why you care so much._

_~Keith_

He didn't know where to put his note so he just dropped it on the floor and hoped for the best.

He waited all day for a response but none came. The tick-tock of the clock in each classroom was taunting him as time dragged on and on. Stupid Blue. The moment he wanted an answer the notes stopped coming. Maybe he was just thinking of a lengthy reply that took a lot of thought. What if they hadn't received the note? What if they just didn't want to reply and gave up? For some reason that idea made Keith deflate. Deep inside he was still hopeful that Blue would be the person that finally decided to give a shit about him. Did Blue care? Or would Keith be forgotten about all over again?

His downward spiral was interrupted by the drone of the final bell of the day. He dragged himself to his locker with a heavy heart, but was pleasantly surprised by a sticky note on his locker.

**Nope. Not gonna leave you alone. If you're going to reply, might as well have an easier way of contacting me ;)**

**202-555-0147**

Keith let out an indignant huff. What they hell were they thinking? Even though he thought that there was no way he would  _ever_ talk to this kid, he couldn't bring himself to toss the note. He folded it up and put it into his pocket.

~~~

_Score._

  

   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so much planned for these two you have no idea. Get ready.


	3. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is having a Bi crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe people are actually reading this!! I was only doing this for shits and giggles and I'm surprised that people actually like it. Writing the texts was really fun and I hope that you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

Lance was having a crisis. It was like two sides of his brain were fighting against each other relentlessly and he couldn't stop or control them. His subconscious was having an argument with itself that he couldn't get a hold of. One was vehemently preaching a narrative of denial, while the other one was screaming the exact opposite. 

_He isn't cute. You just feel bad for him. This is a mix of jealousy and admiration messing with your head._

**_But he totally is cute. And he's kind to everyone around him even when it looks like he doesn't want to be. He looks lonely..._ **

_Nope. Stop right there. He doesn't need me in his life. I don't care if he doesn't text me. It doesn't matter. Iv'e only known him for like two weeks._

_**I want to talk to him, though. Something about him is so enticing. And his eyes. Dios, his eyes. I would do anything to be able to stare into them for hours on end.** _

_What the actual hell? NO. NO WAY._

It wasn't stopping and it was freaking him out to the point of insanity. He was gonna have to wait for Keith's reply before it settled down. He hoped that it would go away entirely because he was running out of distractions. Sitting in his boring classes and listening to a teacher drone on and on about things he was probably not even going to use in life was not helping. The thoughts kept on flooding in and he was drowning in them. He was about ready to start banging his head against the table when the loud monotone sound of the bell echoed through the hallways. Time to get confronted by Hunk. He wasn't ready in the least.

 

 _"_ Lance, you're better than this. I know what you did yesterday was purely out of fear but I don't want you to get sucked into Chad's little games. He loves to manipulate people and he's really dangerous. Please be more careful next time. And don't hurt anyone else," Hunk instructed with pure concern in his voice.

"I know, Hunk. Iv'e just been really confused about everything lately. Give me some time to figure it out," Lance sighed. the reason Chad was so popular was because he was manipulative. It gave him power over other people and it was what made him so terrifying. He ruled everyone around him using their fear to his advantage. Lance hated it. He was only popular because he loved to talk to everyone and connect with them. He loved that everyone was different and complex in their own way. It wasn't because he was seeking power or wanted to control other people.

"Make sure to say sorry to Keith. _In person_ , Lance," Hunk said with a hit of warning in his tone. No freaking way. He had enough conflicting thoughts to last him a a lifetime and he didn't want to confuse himself even more. So he just hummed in response. Fighting with Hunk wouldn't do him any good i this situation.

Hunk sighed and said goodbye as he walked off into the distance. Lance knew that Hunk would bring this up again, his friend never gave up so easily. He was currently more worried about the dilemma that currently plagued him. Nyma, his girlfriend, would not think this was okay. He didn't truly care about her, though. Their relationship was more for show. It felt more fake than personal. Yea, she was pretty, but she wasn't what Lance wanted. She didn't care about him in the way that lovers should care about each other. He wanted to be wanted, he wanted to want someone else. To cherish and love them. He knew this was all wishful thinking so he tended to let those dreams die. It wouldn't help him to wish for something that was probably never going to happen. He pretended like those thoughts didn't exist as he made his way down to the football field. He would deal with this later.

~~~

Keith didn't know what to do. He wanted to text Blue, but at the same time he didn't. It would make things so complicated. He thought that maybe it would be nice to talk to someone. It would be easier if he didn't know who it was, so that he couldn't put a face to the name. It was always easier for him to talk to people he didn't need to face. It felt less real, less intimidating. If he did... maybe things would get easier for him too. He never actually talked or connected with anyone in a way that made their friendship last. He was a loner and had been for a long time. It was what he was best at, and it was basically second nature to him. He never got to come out to anyone. He never got to talk to anyone about his issues. He never had friends to support him, and that was what made him numb. Acting like the hurt wasn't there was how he got rid of it.

He got out his sketchbook. His way of venting his feelings was by drawing. He liked to channel all of his energy into creating art that conveyed all of the words inside his head. It was also a way of losing himself. He could become what he was creating, and it was enchanting. He never knew what he was drawing until he was finished, and that's what made it so addicting. He skillfully moved his pencil across the planes of the thick paper. The sketch was slowly coming to life, and it was beginning to look like a boy. A certain dark skinned, freckled boy with mischievous eyes. Keith often drew people that he was mad at. Lance was a coward. Keith didn't want to be mad at someone who didn't even have the guts to stand up for himself.

Nothing was helping his anxiety and it was starting to chip away at his resolve. As much as he hated to admit it, the last thing left to do was text Blue. He groaned and grabbed his phone.

~~~

 **Unknown number**  

Hey. It's Keith.

 

Lance had to stifle a squeal of excitement. _Keith was texting him_. 

 

Gave up ignoring me? I knew you couldn't help it.

I have nothing better to do, and your notes were getting out of hand.

Texting is easier

And I can block you

Please don't :(

Fine. whatever.  

Wyd

Does it matter?

Anything that has to do with you matters ;)

You're impossible.

To resist.

I cant even  _see_ you!

But you know deep down i'm gorgeous. Admit it.

Whatever you say, hot-shot.

I'm not!!

You just called urself hot.

I said you think i'm hot. Two different things Keithy-boy.

Call me that one more time, I dare you. I collect knives.

Oof, i'm out.

Bored of me yet?

Not in the slightest, pretty-boy.

I'm not pretty.

Gorgeous.

Why are you obsessed with me?! Who are you

No one of consequence, don't worry you're pretty little ass off.

Who says I even care?

You love me

Go rot in an abandoned hole.

Awww, but ten who is going to call you pretty?

Me. I love myself, enough thanks

Mmmno. I think you under appreciate yourself, and that's why you're having such a hard time in high school.

Who says i don't appreciate myself enough?

I do.

Well what do you know about me that makes you believe that?

I know you have beautiful black hair, that you're eyes look like the stars from space, that when you laugh, you get these perfect crinkles around them that make me want to hide in a hole and never come out. I know that you're skin is soft, that when you're sad, it barely shows in the way you stare out into oblivion. Keith, I know the way you hurt and I want to help. Let me help. 

I haven't even been here for three weeks, Blue. How do you even know what I look like?

Not important.

Very important. You're creepy.

AM NOT

ARE TOO

IM NOT CREEPY I WANNA HELP

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME

I have never loved you more. RIP vine.

You shouldn't even love me in the first place. At least give me an idea of who you are.

As I said. No one of consequence.

well excuse me if i want to know my future spouse

HUSBAND??!

What?

Nothing.

Are you a dude?

What makes you say that

Ehem.. "HUSBAND??!"

Oh.

Shit.

I meant you. YOURE the husband

You do know i'm gay, right?

Well then, yes. In that case I am a 'dude'.

U gay too?

Not exactly.

Huh...

Ready for the Calculus test?

Oh um I guess.

Are u bi, then?

Look, I gotta go. My mom just asked me to come down. I'll text you later.

 

~~~

Why was Blue constantly changing the subject? Something was off and Keith was going to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a roller coaster. I had to ask for help bc bleh. that's mt mood. lmk what u think


End file.
